"Beauty from
Ashes"
From
Bitterness to Joy
A project
that first started as a sort of "thesis" for our college degrees,
ended
up being a source of bitterness, but in the end (which is what really counts) a
source of joy. It took a total of 5 years to complete (we did turn in what we
had deemed the complete project for college, but it wasn't quite done).
This
film project was an incredible sojourn. I see life as a journey and when I
write, act, or compose, I see the art piece as taking someone on a journey as
well. What made this project to incredible were the hurdles and seemingly
impossible mountains that needed to be climbed, jumped over, moved, etc.
The
Story
It was based on my first struggle with illness after having my son. I wanted to
be a dancer (I wanted to be a lot of different things) and when I had decided
to pursue it again, I became pregnant and then illness set in and I couldn't do
what I dreamed.
Beauty
from Ashes is about Jenny who has similar aspirations and hopes. Her
struggle with bitterness, disappointment, anger at herself-God-life, is an
expression of my heart. These are her ashes.
Her
beauty, which I feel is also mine, is being able to overcome tragedy
and remain filled with love and compassion. (Not that that was always the
case for me during the process--gosh the stories I could tell you--the stories
my neighbors could tell you-lol)
Film
Stuff
Not to bore you guys with the behind the scenes details, but I think anyone
will appreciate this. We were promised a Sync Sound 35 mm camera for
our production. What we got was a Bolex 16 mm. Now let me say this--the Bolex
take beautiful pictures when you know how to light it just right. However,
it's motor is super noisy and the best part: you have to wind it up every
30 seconds. Yep, winder 'er up just like those old cars.
So
there we were, project written, actors cast, and film bought. We worked things
out with Kodak. Funny when you mention the "F word" (Fuji) things
start to look
better on the budget end-lol.
We were determined to film this no matter what. And we did.
So
every 30 seconds we re-wound our camera, every 100 feet we re-loaded
it with another daylight spool of film. Tedious as it was, nothing was more
tedious than having to loop ALL of our sound. Yep, every cast member got
the privilege of being in our sound booth (our bedroom with the queen
sized mattress turned on it's side and tipped against the wall), they all got
to master lip synching (watching on a 3 inch video screen the play back),
and all marveled when my hair got wound up in the NAGRA (analog sound
recorder that's reel to reel).
4
months later, we blew them all away. They, meaning our professors
never expected us to finish it, let alone have it tell a good story and move
people. It wasn't finished like I mentioned. It was only a short film and only
seen in our class room. We were determined that one day we'd take it out
of the closet and finish it, air it, and then see what happens.
Well, we did take it out of the closet...
The
Result?...
+ A
beautiful piece that stretches the soul and encourages others.
+ It did broadcast on TLN and its affiliates on cable.
+ Also, I'm eligible for Emmy nominations for my: acting, producing, writing,
music composition. A win this time around wouldn't hoit one bit. Here's
hoping for the win, but being nominated is so cool. It really is. Not bad for
a poor Jersey girl.